Monday, April 28, 2008

Letting go

If you love somebody,
let them go, for if they return,
they were always yours.
And if they don't,
they never were.

Kahlil Gibran
Even as a child I have had troubles with letting things go. I wanted to keep everyone and everything close by so I could touch and defend them. In fact... to keep control. Later on I learned that those things in life that are worth fighting for come in complete freedom to you. And in complete freedom they should stay. It is impossible to hold on to someone or something that is not meant to be with you. It needs trust to let go....
Today I reached that point again... to let go even for a short while always has filled me with an incredible fear. But today it felt different, it felt peaceful. It felt like a saw myself from above and saw how I was trying to hold on, affraid of loosing a loved one. But deep down inside I already knew that in true love there is no holding on.... just letting go...

It feels so good to let that convulsive retaining go, and to feel how so much fear went away along with it. It feels like I can breathe again and feel the true essence of love. When there is fear there is no room for love and now love has the space to blossom and grow :)

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength;
loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Lao Tzu


vk said...

Heartfelt Sas. It is indeed very tough to let go...
So lovely to read how you so beautifully describe the feeling of letting go and the accompanying peace..I am glad for you my friend...
I keep hearing the first quote but did not know it was Kahlil Gibran's. This is the second Lao Tzu quote I read today, lovely.
I loved the phrase "complete freedom"...When I face this feeling of possessiveness... I try hard to practice detached attachment ...:)).
Thanks for sharing...

Vinita said...

Such beautful words and such peaceful thoughts. Its difficult to cut that umbilical cord and let go. May be its our insecurites, may be the fear of being alone or may be its losing control that we can't accept. But in every stage of our life we do face such challenges.

What vani has put in her post about "detached attachment" is what "Bhagvad Geeta" (Hindu Holy Book)teaches us.

I read the Book "peace in every step" By Thich Nhat Hanh long time back. But once I started reading the book I could not put it down until I had finished it. I am so glad you always quote something from his book.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Sas,
I couldn't help reading your post, since I am one of the sparrows hopping around in your back yard. I will always be there because it is one of the loveliest places I know. I enjoy my breakfast twice as much knowing that you are sitting on the dresser looking at me with all the love inside you.
I will always return.
Did you know by the way that sparrows can cry big tears? That is what happened to me when I read your post...
I love you so much.

Sas said...

Dear Vani and Vinita,

Thank you for the interesting comments.
"detached attachment" is something I try to practise too.

I would love to read more in my garden and I will look for my translation of "Bhagvad Geeta" that I have somewhere and start my reading moment with this one.

Will share it with you soon....thank you for bringing it to my attention again in such a lovely way my friends :)

with love, Sas

Elisa Day said...

I have been away for a while, so I havent been reading your blog. I almost started crying when I read this one. I lost my dad in a very tradig way for one year ago, and I have very difficult to let it go. So I will read this post over and over again! Thank you!

Shalini said...

Beautifully written....I completely understand the feeling as I hate to let things go as well. Belief and trust are what have changed me...belief that things will turn out for the best and trust in a higher being. This is one of those posts that I want to come back to again and a fav in flickr!

rkramadh said...

Dear Sas, you have expressed very difficult but profound thoughts in such a simple, open way. I guess it's natural to feel posessive of what we consider most precious in our lives. I find that it's a life long thing that we keep letting go but go back to holding on to it's a recurring cycle. If the object of desire is completely gone, then we can let go completely eventually. But if it's there in front of you all the time, letting go completely is more challenging I find.

Sas said...

Dear Elisa,

Thank you for sharing your heart felt thoughts.I am so grateful that my post was in some way helpful to you.

Take care my friend and a big warm hug to you,

with love, Sas

Sas said...

Dear Shalini and Rupa,

Thank you for your lovely and warm comments.

To me it is one of the most difficult things to accomplish in my life....being able to let go.

Even if someone or something is not in front of me, because to me letting go of a memory can be very difficult also.

But by sharing it I let go a bit too, so thank you :)

with love, Sas

rkramadh said...

Sas, it's true that certain deep memories or thoughts (positive & negative) are never erased and we analyse it in our minds endlessly. It's not harmful when they are good thoughts but reliving bad ones are harmful to our mind as well as our body. As Eckhart Tolle says, our bodies react to our thoughts as well actual events, it doesn't know the difference! I agree with you, it's not an easy task for me either given that I relive a lot of stuff and only recently I have slowly learned to let go, especially negative thoughts/events.

Sas said...

Dear Rupa,

I have the same experience. The past week I have been going through a lot of "old pain" and it feels like step by step I can let it go now.

My sister has experienced it too and we have had a wonderful conversation in which we could talk about things of the past and let it go.

It is a slow process but I feel like I am learning to detache myself earlier and let go easier.

Will get back to you on that book by Eckhart Tolle, as I find your quote very inspiring; -"our body reacts to our thoughts as well to actual events, it doesn't know the difference!"-

Thank you for bringing this up and for your refreshing and honest sharing :)

with love, Sas

Margaret said...

I'm having a hard time with this at this very moment. i wish I could get some advice for learning to let go and trusting someone will come back to me. :'(