Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Moments of silence

by - Silent Lotus
When There are
No longer
Any crowds
To cheer you onFor it seems that
All the hurdles
Are behind Rather
BeyondYou shall find
The sweet silence of divine love
To guide you on


quaint handmade said...

your photography is really beautiful. i "discovered" you from a comment you left for majlee.

sindi said...

Thank you Sas, this post is really beautiful and so inspiring...just love this quote...for some reason somehow.

I do realize now that all that pushes us forward everyday is just ourselves' inner desire to be better, not others' judgements or opinions. So when the days getting slow and I feel lost (or even I cannot feel a thing at all), I know I am not actually lost, I just couldn't find my "teacher"---the real one. It is said that in one's life there are three teachers: firstly, the parents, then, the teachers at school,and at last,yourself. Sometimes I think maybe I was kind of poorly educated for so long in my life and I have been wasting so many years doing nothing...since as my days getting worse at some point,I feel more and more helpless, and even worse, I don't know how to connected any more.

And I do tell myself time after time that I will be fine and I will start again as a new born baby, but the journey still turns out to be bitter-sweet. I know maybe it sounds like I'm-a-work-in-process thing, and I never ever give up dreams, but I'm quite clear as well that I am not happy about myself from time to time when I lost all my patience to stick to my plan. Though I do positive self-conversations in my mind, there still some times I cannot help doing the opposite. I'm not loving myself and I'm not stirred by what I thought I was capable of...I am not a good guide for me.

Sorry...Sas, because I have said so much nonsense there. But you know what? I notice that you have recently posted lots of threads that are entitled "moments of silence", which are, to me, silent lessons indeed. It's hard to remain silence and be still in the rustle and hustle of everyday reality...and it's, embarrassing to say, hard for me sometimes to finish something with heart and soul, like reading a book from the beginning to the end! I desperately wish I could but I just can't, and I try to pretend that I'm still in control of everything, putting on a brave face, saying big words, acting strong like always, well...I am not. Nobody cares what's on my mind when I stay awake the whole night, nor they even have a clue that why I couldn't fall sleep at the first place, not even myself. Then I learn to treat myself something good(health tips to read and a bath) or something bad(some unhealthy snack or a lazy afternoon ).So now I start thinking why not stop doing them all? just be silent for a while, for as long as I could figure out what is the right approach, instead of popping into whatever comes next.

For me right now, the hurdle is another invisible fear; I've conquered some of them before,but this one is a little bit different. It's the fear of not having a desire, a desire to go, to love, to be better. And I know this time it's not gonna be easy like before because I' m gonna digging in to find my real guide, with sweet silence and real tears.

I'm kind of a slow writer, you know...my English is not good enough to fully express myself but I've tried, which I hope not being disturbing. I just want to thank you, Sas, for this place you create. I really find something here...through the odds and ends that I could so far understand.

Thanks for sharing the beauty(or possibility )of everything with me, with all of us:)

have a nice day and take care:P

vk said...

So wonderful....thanks for these lovely thoughts and awesome shots...
have a nice day, Sas.

Sas said...

Thank you dear Quaint handmade for the lovely compliment :)

And a big hug to you Vani for your warm comment and a nice day to you too my friend :))

with love, Sas

Sas said...

Dear Sindi,

Your honest and open story really moved me. I also recognized many things you wrote about.

I believe that all of us keep on growing throughout our lives. And growth often means pain and confusion at first. But later on we learn our lessons from it.

And you are growing my friend, with all the confusion and restless feelings that come along with that process.

So try not to judge yourself or get impatient.

There is no need to read a book every day or to meditate for hours....just take fifteen minutes every day to honestly look at yourself in silence . What crossed my path today and how did I react...and later on...why did I react like that.

If you practise this every day slowly you will get insight in your behaviour and feelings.

My mother advised me to try this exercise and it brought me much closer to myself.
It also kept me from judging myself all the time and comparing myself with others who were already at peace with themselves.

Just remember dear Sindi you are on your way, just take your time to learn your lessons. Like the rest of us...we are all on our way, all of us learning our personal lessons :))

I send you lots of love my friend and thank you for your honest sharing.

with love, Sas

rkramadh said...

This is for both Sindi and Sas: By sharing your innermost thoughts and fears, you have made others feel perfectly normal for experiencing these emotions. These are reminders for all of us since the strongest among us still need some reflection and continuous improvement. Sindi, I wish you peace and success in your journey.
Sas, a big thank you for starting this journey and taking us along!

Sas said...

Dear Rupa,

Your beautiful words deeply touched me,

big hug to you my friend and thank you for sharing.

with love, Sas