Thursday, April 3, 2008

Reading; Tagore

"When I stand before thee at the day's end,
thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds
and also my healing."

Rabindranath Tagore
Tonight I read this beautiful saying by Tagore again. It made me realize that a lot had changed since the last time I read it. The words have a completely different meaning to me now. And I want to share the reason why with you :)

Since six months I have a new relationship which is very warm and beautiful but also very confronting. In our relationships with family, friends and lovers we see ourselves confronted with things about ourselves that we don't notice when we are alone ;)
I suddenly felt my scars from the past itching again and old insecurities and fears suddenly were there again. It was a great disappointment because I thought that when I would find true love it would all go away, conquered by love hihi.
But then something beautiful happened, instead of hiding them away again like I have done for years, I showed them to my love. I was terrified for his reaction but he looked at my ignorance with the same loving eye as he looks at my abilities.At that moment I realized that by facing my fears and ignorance I released myself from a great weight that I have carried around for a long time. I was searching for certain answers in all kinds of books, but I had them within me all along :))
Tonight I read the words of Tagore again just like I have done years ago, but it feels different now. It feels like there is a tiny plant growing inside of me which is filled with love. It grows at the same spot where I once hided my fear and shame. There is room now for it to grow.... :))
So far this 'sharing' post :) I wish you a lovely day and leave you with another saying of Tagore which I dedicate to Toek; the gentle warm-hearted man I truly love :))

"Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky."

5 comments:

Vinita said...

All your Indian readers can relate to your post about Rabindranath Tagore. His Books have a special place in our heart.

You are so right about facing the fears if not then they grow and grow and stress you out with their burden.

To attract postive forces in your life not only do you need positive thought which attract loving and positive people in your life but also a strong will to face your fears which then just go away.

Toek must be a very special person... to have found you and to have inspired you to make those changes in you.

Vinita

vk said...

Hello Sas! Very moving post. So wonderful and brave of you to share your innermost feelings with the world. Such beautiful thoughts...and so true. For once I did not glance at the pictures and don't know what to say...may your life always be filled with love. Have a happy day :))
Vani

rkramadh said...

Dear Sas, I was so taken by your honest thoughts that even I (like VK) paid less attention to photos than the words this time! The photos are no doubt beautiful (love that Teal color) but you are truly on an inner journey to find yourself. Even though we may be afraid to express our inner most fears and insecurities for fear of being judged, you share them so beautifully. I always have believed in expressing my true thoughts with my other half atleast, life is simpler that way even though we feel a bit exposed and vulnerable at times! I truly feel like we are all on a journey with you...wish you lots of love and happiness at your destination!

Sas said...

Dear Vinita, Vani and Rupa,

The most beautiful about making a post to me is that I can share my inner thoughts and that someone else decides to read it.

But when you get a respond in such an open and truly warm way the three of you did, then it becomes much more. It becomes a beautiful example of how opening your heart can be shared :)

It really made me smile and happy, thank you :))

Big hugs to the three of you,

Sas

vineeta said...

A lot of us are on our individual journeys and paths to growth and healing, but your gift lies in expressing them with so much beauty and openness. Thank you for sharing yourself and your life so unstintingly.